Sitting in one of my dearest friend’s living room this week, I was overwhelmed with my own feelings of peace, clarity, and calmness while talking with her…
My feelings I had never experienced before. These are not the feelings I was expecting at all when a friend I have known for over 30 years is battling with ocular melanoma. I had seen her a few times after she had been given her cancer diagnosis and she had undergone two surgeries to insert a radiation implant in her eye, and then had it removed 4 days later. Visiting her this time was different.
We sat alone in her quiet comfortable gorgeous living room.
We talked about her kids, husband, and of course, she spoke about wanting “them” to be “okay”. I asked her how she was doing, with tears in her eyes, she responded, “My life will never be the same after cancer”. No, it will not. I call it B.C. for before cancer. In as long as it takes the physician to tell you that you have cancer is the pivotal moment your life changes forever. Your thoughts, desires, goals, priorities, feelings, emotions, reactions, behaviors, and existence are automatically different.
The calmness came to me as if I had been surrounded in a calm warmth I had never felt before.
As if someone had gently immersed me into a safe relaxing warm pool. My conversation with my precious friend felt like one of the out of body experiences I have heard about from other people. I knew exactly what was happening.
It was if God said to me, “This is why Becky.”
This is why…
29 years ago, this friend was there for me when I was diagnosed and underwent 28 weeks of cancer treatment for nasopharyngeal cancer. Our kids attended school together, she stepped right in and assisted with my kids as well as helped me try to sort out the pieces of the horrific puzzle I was trying to make sense of. Fast forward a bit and we’re now at 7 years ago, and this same friend was there to support me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
As I sat in her living room the warmth and calmness flowed into a sense of peace. The questions I screamed out to God during my own cancer journeys now made sense. I have known for years there were reasons I went through cancer, but this day clarified to me my purpose on the other side of cancer. A purpose I take seriously.
I know without any question my journey through cancer was planned.
I do not believe God “gave me” cancer but I do believe He designed and approved my journey to be there for my friend and I feel blessed to walk with her during her journey any way I can. I am truly blessed. Many times, we question the plan. We fight the plan. We feel we have a better plan. Resentment, anger, and fear overtake us….but in the long run it all makes sense….as painful as it can be.
My heart goes out to my dear friend and her family. If I could erase the fear, pain, and trepidation from this family’s life, I would. Yet, I cannot. Their journey is, and will prove to be, a difficult one. Like my friend, our journey will teach us hard life lessons, many of which will remain wholly unexplained.
And still, I remember our journey is within the plan.
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CRT, CCDC, CACC | Counselor & Life Coach
Empowering individuals, families and communities to grow and heal through advanced approaches in Creative Arts Therapy, setting the standard for treatment, practice and training within the field.