Sewing Therapy: Hunter & His Blanket
In comes my varsity football player, Hunter—close to six feet tall, polite, respectful, and a little clueless about why he was here. Mom had apparently put a “shotgun to his head” (not literally) and told him, “You need to learn how to communicate and not be like your dad!” Okay, Mom, challenge accepted.
Hunter came in, a little lost but cooperative. He’s the kind of kid who says “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am,” and we got along fine. But I knew I needed to add something to the mix. I ran out of football questions fast (since I know next to nothing about the sport), so we shifted to a topic that every teenage boy has opinions on—girls.
Hunter started talking about his girlfriend and the struggle to figure out what she wanted (imagine that). He shared how he never seemed to get it quite right and was frustrated trying to understand her moods. He mentioned it was her birthday that weekend, and that’s when the lightbulb went off. This was my chance to help him “communicate” in a way that would make him shine.
I told him to follow me, and I pulled out some fleece I had ready for upcoming sessions. I told him, “Pick out some fleece. You’re going to make her a blanket.” Hunter looked at me like I was out of my mind. But he went along with it, picked out a color, and down we sat on the floor—me and this 200-pound high schooler—tying knots and working on this fleece throw blanket.
As we worked, we talked about girls, relationships, communication, and how small gestures go a long way. We talked about his frustration with reading her moods and how maybe, just maybe, sometimes the simplest things can mean the most. By the end of it, Hunter had made a gift, and he was pretty proud of his handiwork. And he’d also picked up a little about communication, just like his mom had asked for.
Oh, and the “princess”? She was amazed and more in love than ever!
And…so is mom!
The fleece tie blanket has become one of my go-to projects in therapy, especially with teens and young adults who might be a little skeptical about “therapy crafts” or don’t think they’re the “creative” type. These blankets are incredibly easy to make—no sewing involved, just a pair of scissors, some fleece, and the ability to tie a knot. They’re simple, accessible, and, most importantly, therapeutic.
Why I Use Fleece Tie Blankets in Therapy
The tie blanket project hits on so many therapeutic levels. For one, it’s a creative way to connect with the kids and teens who might be a little wary of traditional therapy or uncomfortable with opening up right away. The hands-on aspect relaxes them, gives them something to do with their hands, and serves as a gentle distraction. It also becomes a conversation starter—a way to talk about things indirectly while focusing on a task. Plus, at the end, they walk away with something personal they created, which brings in a sense of accomplishment and pride.
These blankets also allow for themes of communication, patience, and empathy to naturally come into the conversation. As they’re tying the knots, I can relate each step to how we “tie together” our thoughts, feelings, and relationships. When they gift the blanket to someone, it becomes a gesture of love, thoughtfulness, and understanding—an act that says, “I care about you, and I put effort into something special for you.”
Therapeutic Benefits of the Fleece Tie Blanket Project
- Encourages Openness and Connection:
The repetitive action of tying knots helps participants relax, making it easier for them to open up and talk. It’s a simple, non-threatening activity that naturally leads to conversation. We can talk about relationships, friendships, family, and other topics while focusing on the blanket. - Builds Empathy and Understanding:
As they work on the blanket, especially if it’s for someone else, they start thinking about what that person might like. It’s an exercise in considering someone else’s perspective and thinking about how small gestures can have a big impact on relationships. - Promotes Patience and Mindfulness:
Tying a blanket requires patience and attention to detail. The task is repetitive but calming, allowing the mind to slow down and focus on the present moment. This can be a great way to introduce the concept of mindfulness without calling it that, which can resonate well with teens. - Boosts Confidence and Accomplishment:
Creating something from scratch, especially when they think they aren’t “crafty” or “creative,” gives participants a huge sense of accomplishment. When they finish and see the end product, there’s a moment of pride that’s hard to replicate in other activities. - Strengthens Bonds and Communication Skills:
Giving the finished blanket to someone special can be a powerful act of communication. They’re not just giving a blanket; they’re giving a piece of themselves—a gesture of thoughtfulness, connection, and effort. This is particularly impactful for kids like Hunter, who want to show they care but may not always have the words.
How to Make a Fleece Tie Blanket
The beauty of this project is its simplicity. Here’s a quick rundown on how we do it, so you can get a sense of how easy it is—and why it works so well in therapy.
- Pick Out the Fleece:
You’ll need two pieces of fleece, ideally in colors or patterns that mean something to the person making it or the person they’re making it for. This adds a personal touch and makes them feel invested in the project. - Line Up the Fabrics:
Lay the two pieces of fleece on top of each other, aligning the edges. This in itself is a good analogy—we’re lining up two pieces, making them fit, just like we try to align our own lives and relationships. - Cut the Edges into Fringe:
We cut a fringe along the edges, about 1-2 inches deep and wide, depending on how large the blanket is. This repetitive action gives them something to focus on, and the sense of rhythm and routine can be very calming. - Tie the Knots:
Here’s where the magic happens: tie the top and bottom fringe pieces together into double knots all the way around the blanket. This repetitive tying is grounding, and we can talk about the meaning of “tying” things together, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, or relationships. - Reflect on the Process and the Finished Product:
When they’re done, I encourage them to look at the blanket and reflect on the experience. If they’re giving it to someone, we talk about what they hope it will mean to that person and what the act of creating and gifting it means to them.
How I Use the Fleece Tie Blanket with Clients
Every client is different, so I adapt the process to fit each person’s needs. Sometimes it’s a quiet, reflective project, where they’re tying knots and working through their own thoughts internally. Other times, it becomes a conversation that flows from one topic to another. With teens like Hunter, it’s a sneaky way to introduce communication, empathy, and understanding without being overly direct. We talk, we laugh, and we reflect on what it means to give someone something thoughtful and handmade.
For some, it becomes a tradition or a personal project that reminds them of what they’ve worked through in therapy. And for others, like Hunter, it becomes a way to connect and communicate in a way they didn’t expect—like a birthday gift for a girlfriend that says more than words ever could.
The fleece tie blanket is more than just a project. It’s a tool, a bridge, and sometimes even a breakthrough. And every time I pull out the fleece, I know that something meaningful is going to come out of it, one knot at a time.
If you are struggling right now, let’s talk. You can book an in-person or virtual visit.
Email or call anytime to schedule an in-person or virtual session. (817) 701-5438 | beckylennox2018@gmail.com
Speaking Truth,
