How to Raise a Narcissistic Child

There are two parenting styles that lead a child to develop into a narcissist, oddly enough, they are opposite from each other. 

90 percent of becoming a narcissist is taught! 

There is the traumatized, neglected, poor attachment style pathway, and then there is the overindulged, spoiled child pathway. These are the spoiled kids who basically get whatever they want, are the boss of the house, and are never taught self-control or what the word”no” means. 

Children learn by seeing

Children learn by seeing. If a person grows up in a household where their feelings were never acknowledged, they learned that recognizing or respecting the feelings and needs of others isn’t necessary. Kids watch their parents and observe how they relate to others, empahasise, and interact with other people. 

On the other hand, kids who were spoiled or told that everything they did and felt was valid, develop an inflated sense of self-worth. They require positive praise from everyone in their life. 

People telling their kids they are the most special and you deserve everything are setting the kid up for a misrible life that nobody wants to be a part of. Durvasula says. In the social media age where kids are props, where people are spending $10,000 on a Taylor Swift concert, what the hell is that saying to a kid?

Both environments reinforce a sort of self-centered existence, where the child is taught that what is going on with other people is not as important as what is going on with them. And both lead to poor emotional regulation skills, Durvasula says. 

Children can unlearn toxic behaviors, much more easily than adults. 

If you notice your precious child is developing antagonistic traits,demanding they get what they want, or punishing you for their needs not being met, you can help curb some of these toxic behaviors. 

Start by demonstrating good emotional regulation…

If your server gets your order wrong, for example, are you still treating them with kindness and patience or are you yelling at them? How you react will influence how your child acts. 

Mirroring your child’s emotions can also help them learn how to self-regulate, too.

Mirroring requires you to meet your child where they are and help label their emotions. Validating their emotions means letting them know that what they’re feeling is reasonable, but they are not going to manipulate you to get what they want. 

This can help them feel less shame, fear, and insecurity, all of which can drive narcissistic behaviors. 

And if your child is throwing a fit, call them out. Don’t shame them. Just ask them the following three questions: 

• “What happened?”
• “How are you feeling?”
• “How do you think your reaction is making the other person (or the people around you) feel?”

Instead of accepting their emotional dysfunction, you’re helping them flex their empathy, social awareness and emotional regulation skills. 

If many of these resonate, it doesn’t automatically mean you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It might just mean you have traits worth exploring with self-reflection or therapy. You can stop the train with awareness, education, skills training, and the art of saying “No.” 

Healthy relationships are built on empathy, mutual respect, and accountability—not manipulation or control. If you’ve never experienced this kind of connection, you might struggle with self-worth, but know this: you are worthy of love and respect.

Breaking free from a narcissist can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but it’s also one of the most liberating. Therapy, education, and a strong support network can help you rediscover your strength and rebuild your life on your terms. You have the power to reclaim your peace, one step at a time.

Look, not everyone who annoys you is a narcissist. Sometimes, they’re just selfish, clueless, or having a bad day. Slapping the “narcissist” label on everyone makes it harder to understand the real deal.

But if you are dealing with a true narcissist—whether it’s a child, parent, or partner—know this: you don’t have to fix them, and you don’t have to let their behavior define you. Focus on your boundaries, your peace, and your growth.