Narcissism: The Invisible Entanglement

I often hear patients describe someone in their life—usually a partner—as a narcissist. Most of the time, this equates to having a partner who is “all about themselves,” which undoubtedly makes for a difficult relationship. However, the term narcissist is frequently overused, casually applied to selfish or difficult individuals. Being a true narcissist involves far more than undesirable personality traits—it requires a formal diagnosis by a mental health professional and is identified as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). While some individuals may exhibit narcissistic characteristics, they do not necessarily meet the clinical criteria for NPD. Individuals can exhibt the characstics of narcisissm, and be a narcisisst without the dianosis because most true narcissists don’t they feel they have a problem (its everyone elses issue) and will not seek help. 

The Narcissist in Your Life: The Alluring Trap That Leaves You Broken

Narcissists are not just confined to romantic relationships. They can be friends, parents, siblings, coworkers, family members, and bosses. Bottom line, narcissists lack, reject, and fail to comprehend or connect with empathy on any meaningful level. They are incapable of truly understanding or caring about the feelings of others, and this deficiency lies at the core of their behavior and the harm they inflict. They draw you in with an almost magnetic charm, much like a flame attracting a moth, only to leave you singed and spiraling. At first, they can make you feel special, important, and deeply valued, weaving a sense of connection that feels unique and irresistible.aIlike living in someone else’s shadow, where your feelings, needs, and individuality are overlooked or dismissed.

The problem is, most people don’t even realize they’re in a relationship with a narcissist until it’s too late. They find themselves burried in self-doubt, blaming themselves for any disaray, and have grown to feel this is their norm. 

Narcissists have an uncanny ability to set off emotional triggers, provoking reactions that make you feel as though you’re at fault. This cycle of blame, manipulation, and emotional exhaustion can be overwhelming, making it critical to understand the dynamics at play. 

Narcissist Don’t Need Help! Just Ask Them…

Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, is one of the most effective tools for addressing narcissistic tendencies. Through long-term therapy, individuals can develop greater self-awareness, confront their insecurities, and work toward building healthier patterns of relating to others. However, the major challenge lies in the fact that most narcissists—an overwhelming majority—will never acknowledge that they have these traits, let alone identify with the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The issues are always with everyone else and they have no part in the dysfunction. If others will change to their liking, everything would be peachy. 

Narcissists sincerely believe they are superior—better, smarter, and more capable than anyone else. This belief acts as a shield, masking their deep internal insecurities and weaknesses. While these vulnerabilities exist, they are rarely visible to others. Instead, narcissists project an image of invincibility, making it nearly impossible for them to admit fault or seek the help they need.

Empathy does not exhist in narcisissts. They may relate a tiny bit to your feelings but they don’t really get it. They are incabable of understanding how it feels to be anothers shoes. The closest you will ever get to investment in yhour feelings will abe, “Well, I am sorry you feel that way” and move on. They don’t care how you feel or what you are going thnrough. They just want to win and for you to go by their rules. Secondly, a narisists entire exhistance is based on the need for valadation from the world, and that means you too. 

Beware! The Cycle of Narcissistic Relationships

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is not just “difficult” or “complicated.” It often involves a destructive cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard. Narcisist have a desperate need to be valadated from the world, and this inclued  you. They struggle with empathy and find it exremely difficult to “put themselves in others shoes”. 

Idealization: At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist showers their partner with love and attention. You feel seen, cherished, and on top of the world. This phase is sometimes referred to as love bombing. The narcissist builds a pedestal for you, and it feels exhilarating—but it’s not real. It’s manipulation.

Devaluation: Once the narcissist senses they have you hooked, the pedestal crumbles. Criticism begins. Your flaws, real or imagined, become a focus of their disdain. They gaslight you, twist your reality, and make you doubt yourself. The love and warmth that felt so real vanish, replaced by coldness, judgment, and control.

Discard: Eventually, the narcissist may emotionally or physically discard you. They lose interest when you no longer serve their need for admiration. However, even after leaving, narcissists often attempt to maintain control, returning to re-enter your life or disrupt your healing.

The result of this cycle is devastating. A partner of a narcissist often feels constantly on edge, unable to predict the next emotional explosion, and unsure of their own worth.

Narcissists excel at convincing their partners (or the individuals around them) that everything is their fault—that if only you were better, tried harder, or loved more, everything would be fine. This is the lie they use to keep you under their control while they prioritize their needs, manipulate your emotions, and drain your spirit.