Talking Love and Life with Your College Kid or Young Adult

Let’s be honest—having a heart-to-heart with your young adult about love, relationships, and the choices they’ll face isn’t exactly fun. But avoiding the conversation won’t help them either. College and young adulthood are full of excitement, opportunities, and, yes, potential mistakes. You can’t shield them from every misstep, but you can remind them of the tools you’ve given them and the values they carry—because, even if they don’t always show it, those lessons are deeply embedded in who they are.
Trust What You’ve Taught Them
Here’s something to hold onto: your kid does know the morals and values you’ve worked hard to instill in them. They may falter, make mistakes, or veer off course, but those values are still at their core.
What to Remember:
- “They’ll mess up. They’ll take detours. But at the end of the day, they have the foundation you gave them.”
- “Pray their choices don’t lead to something irreversible, but trust that they know better deep down.”
- “You’ve been their age, and you made it out alive. Remember your own struggles—what you wanted in a partner, what you didn’t have, or what you valued—and use that to guide them without judgment.”
Friendships: The Real Foundation
Romance might grab their attention, but friendships are the backbone of this phase of life. These are the relationships that will support them through breakups, mistakes, and growth.
What to Tell Them:
- “The love you share with your friends will last a lifetime. Those bonds will fill you in ways a romantic relationship can’t.”
- “Focus on making good friends who have your back, because when things fall apart, they’re the ones who’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”
- “Learn how to love and be loved by a friend. Those lessons—about trust, respect, and loyalty—will shape all your future relationships.”
Reputation and Boundaries: You’re in Charge
Remind them that they’re in control of how others see and treat them. Their actions and boundaries define their reputation—and their self-respect.
What to Say:
- “Decide now what you will and won’t do, because in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to make choices you’ll regret.”
- “Your actions teach others how to treat you. Set the rules for yourself and stick to them.”
- “Boundaries aren’t there to limit your fun—they’re there to protect your self-respect.”
When Fun Turns to Regret
Young adulthood is full of temptations—whether it’s impulsive decisions, alcohol, or one-night stands. Help them understand that the consequences often outweigh the fun.
What to Say:
- “One wild night isn’t worth a lifetime of regret. Think about how you’ll feel the next day before you make a choice.”
- “A one-night stand will never improve your self-esteem. The walk of shame is never worth it.”
- “Call me when you screw up. I may not agree with what you did, but I’ll always be here for you.”
Trust Their Instincts
Help them tune into their gut feelings and trust themselves when something doesn’t feel right.
What to Say:
- “If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut—it’s there to protect you.”
- “Fun shouldn’t come at the cost of self-destruction. Enjoy life, but keep it within your own boundaries.”
- “Know your limits, whether it’s drinking, weed, or a relationship. When you hit ‘stupid mode,’ things start to spiral.”
Independence and Confidence: Skip the Chase
Teach them that they don’t need a partner to feel whole. Independence and self-respect will always outshine desperation.
What to Say:
- “You don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy. Build your own life first, and the right person will fit into it.”
- “Chasing someone never works. If they want to be with you, you won’t have to convince them.”
- “Stand firm in who you are and what you deserve. The right person will respect that.”
Let Them Know You’re in Their Corner
Above all, let them know they can come to you—no matter what. Even if you don’t agree with their choices, your love and support can be the anchor they need.
What to Say:
- “I’m here for you, and I won’t judge you. I may not always agree with your choices, but I’ll always be in your corner.”
- “Mistakes happen, and that’s okay. What matters is how you learn and grow from them.”
- “When things go wrong, call me. I’ll help you pick up the pieces and figure it out.”
The Bottom Line for Parents
Your young adult will make mistakes—it’s inevitable. But the values and morals you’ve instilled in them are there, even when they falter. Trust the foundation you’ve built, and remember how you navigated love, relationships, and growing up yourself. Use those lessons to guide them with empathy, not judgment.
Encourage them to prioritize friendships, set boundaries, trust their instincts, and make choices they’ll be proud of. And most importantly, remind them that you’ll always be there—ready to listen, guide, and support them through it all.
If you are struggling right now, let’s talk. You are not alone and you don’t have to walk this road alone. You can book an in-person or virtual visit today.
Email or call anytime to schedule an in-person or virtual session. (817) 701-5438 | beckylennox2018@gmail.com

Speaking Truth,

CRT, CCDC, CACC | Life Coach & Counselor