Detoxifying From Your College Kid: A Survival Guide for Parents
So, your kid is off to college, and suddenly the house is quiet—almost too quiet. You might be feeling a mix of emotions right now, but guess what? This is your time to shine! It’s time to detox from being a full-time parent and rediscover the fabulous person you are underneath all those years of PTA meetings and soccer practices. Here’s how to embrace this new chapter with a little humor, a lot of freedom, and a dash of sexy.
Reintroduce Your Sex Life (Yes, Really)
Remember that partner you used to be head over heels for? The one you used to sneak kisses with before the chaos of parenting took over? The one you had mad monkey sex with? Well, guess what? The kids are gone, and it’s time to get reacquainted—with them and with yourself.
- What to Do: Dig deep and figure out what you used to love about your partner. Go on dates, flirt a little (or a lot), and yes, reintroduce your sex life. You don’t have to worry about little Johnny barging in anymore, so let loose and enjoy the privacy.
Reconnect with Your Partner
You’ve been in the parenting trenches together, but now it’s time to rediscover each other. Get to know the person you might have disconnected from during the whirlwind of raising a child. The partnership that got lost in the shuffle when chasing kids around.
- What to Do: Spend quality time together doing things that don’t involve talking about the kids. Plan a getaway, take up a new hobby together, or simply enjoy a long dinner without checking your phones. Who knows? You might find you actually still really like each other.
Find New Friends (Who Have Nothing to Do with Your Kid)
Let’s face it, some of your social life might have revolved around your kid’s activities. Now that they’re off to college, it’s time to find friends who share your interests, not just those of your child.
- What to Do: Join a club, take a class, or reconnect with old friends you haven’t seen in a while. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, who you can relate to, and who won’t ask how little Susie is doing every five minutes.
Discover Your Own Interests and Desires
Remember those dreams and hobbies you put on the back burner because you were too busy carpooling and packing lunches? It’s time to rediscover them.
- What to Do: Take up painting, join a book club, or start that garden you always talked about. This is your time to indulge in the things that make you happy. And hey, if that means binge-watching your favorite show all weekend, go for it—no one’s going to judge!
- Ask Yourself: “What have I not done in my life because I said I don’t have time to do that?” Now that you have the time, go do it. Whether it’s learning a new skill, traveling, or just spending an afternoon doing absolutely nothing—make it happen.
Dress Sexy (Because You Can)
Gone are the days of rushing out the door in yoga pants and a messy bun because you had to drop your kid off at school. Your wardrobe is now entirely your own, and you can dress however the hell you want.
- What to Do: Buy that outfit you’ve been eyeing, the one that makes you feel like a million bucks. Strut your stuff, because your kid isn’t around to roll their eyes at your fashion choices. You’re free to be as bold, sexy, and fabulous as you want.
Do the Things You Blamed Not Doing on Your Kid
How many times did you say, “I can’t because I have kids”? Well, not anymore! The excuses are gone, and the time is now.
- What to Do: Have that glass of wine with your neighbor at 3 PM just because you can. Miss a call from little Johnny and call him back when you’re ready. Take that yoga class, travel, or even sleep in without feeling guilty. Your schedule is now your own, so fill it with things you love.
Hide Your Phone (Yes, Seriously)
If you’re tempted to text your poor child every single day with questions like, “Did you eat?” or “Are you making friends?”—stop. Step away from the phone.
- What to Do: Hide your phone, give it to a friend, lock it up, leave it at home—do anything to keep from texting your kid with those unnecessary questions. Let them breathe! Remember, they’ll call you if they need you, or if they want to chat. Set a time to talk once a week (yes, just once a week). Establish your expectations early—like during the first week of school—so everyone knows the drill. Whether it’s finances, allowance, or responding to texts, get it all out in the open.
Allow Your Kid to Call You
It might be hard, but give your kid the space to call you when they want to. They’re navigating a whole new world, and they need room to do it without constant check-ins.
- What to Do: Set a weekly call schedule, or let them take the lead on when to reach out. And when they do call, be excited! But remember, it’s their time to shine, so don’t overwhelm them with questions.
Do Not Guilt Your Poor Kid
You had a bad day? Get over it, or vent to a friend. Your kid doesn’t need to be your therapist, and they certainly don’t need to be pulled into family drama while they’re trying to figure out their own life. If there is family drama, keep it away from your kid while at college.
- What to Do: Keep your child out of family squabbles, drama, or any bad vibes at home. If you had a fight with your partner, keep it between the two of you. Save the important conversations for in-person talks or FaceTime—when you can really connect without the stress.
Send Only Happy or Cute Pictures
If you’re going to send photos, make sure they’re the fun, happy kind. Sending sad or negative ones won’t draw your child closer; it’ll just make them roll their eyes and think, “What are you trying to do, Mom?”
- What to Do: Share the good stuff! Cute pet pics, something funny you saw, or a shot of you enjoying your newfound freedom. Keep the vibes positive and light.
Live Your Own Life (Your Kid Wants You To)
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking your life has no purpose now that your kid is gone, but here’s the truth: they want you to have a life! They want you to be happy and fulfilled, just like you want that for them.
- What to Do: Stop keeping your phone glued to your hip, waiting for their call. Buy yourself that outfit you’ve been eyeing instead of always putting them first. Discover what makes you tick outside of being a parent. Trust me, your kid will be thrilled to know you’re out there living your best life…without them!
Do Not Be a Blundering Idiot
Listen, don’t go into their bedroom and start sniffing the hoodie they left behind or lie on their bed and cry like a 12-year-old dramatic little pouty girl. It’s not appealing, your partner will look at you as though you have lost your mind, the other kids will know you are a freak….and it’s not going to help you (or anyone else).
- What to Do: Close the door, leave the room, and go do something that makes you happy. It’s okay to miss them, but don’t wallow in it. Keep moving forward.
Relief and Acceptance
Let’s be honest—there’s a part of you that feels relief now that they’re gone. No more teenage drama, no more nagging about chores, no more wondering what time they’ll roll in. No more reminding or griping at them to get their asses out of bed. No more being for certain they are addicted to their cell phones…. It’s okay to feel a sense of “Ye-haw they are gone!”
- What to Do: Find the courage to identify the reasons you feel relief, dig deeply, and own them. Accept that it’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of emotions, including relief. It doesn’t mean you love them any less; it just means you’re human.
Do Whatever the Hell You Want
At the end of the day, this is your time to do whatever the hell you want. You’ve earned it. Whether it’s traveling the world, starting a new career, or simply enjoying the peace and quiet at home, this chapter is all about you.
- What to Do: Embrace the freedom. Take risks, have fun, and remember that life doesn’t stop when your kids leave—it just gets a whole lot more interesting.
So, here’s to you—cheers to this new adventure, and may you embrace every moment of it with joy, laughter, and a little bit of sexy! If your precious kid needs you, trust me, you will hear from them!
Parenting can be difficult to navigate but you are not alone! If you are struggling right now, let’s talk. You can book an in-person or virtual visit.
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