One Simple Habit That Can Change Everything in Your Marriage

I’ve worked with thousands of couples over the past 30 years, and no matter what the struggle is—communication, parenting, emotional disconnect, resentment—there’s one simple habit that can change everything:

A weekly meeting.

Not a long therapy session. Not a deep dive.
Just a consistent sit-down every week with:

👉 A spiral notebook
👉 A calendar
👉 And a willingness to be intentional

Here’s how to start:

1. The Notebook

Grab a spiral notebook (or one with dividers) and write things down.
Use it to track:

• To-dos
• Who’s doing what
• Things you’re avoiding
• Arguments to save for the meeting (instead of blowing up in the moment)

Date each entry. Keep it consistent.

2. The Weekly Meeting

Pick a time each week. Treat it like a standing meeting with your boss.

Talk through:

• How you’re both feeling
• What’s coming up this week
• Kids’ schedules, activities, and needs
• Relationship check-in (Are we connected? What needs attention?)
• Plan one thing to do together as a couple

3. Meal Planning

Yes—get a food menu on the fridge.

Decide who’s in charge of dinner each night or cook together.
Make a grocery list throughout the week and take one thing off your mental load.

This is not meant to be a precise, set-in-stone plan where meals can’t change or activities can’t shift.
This is meant to give you structure and space—so you can sit down once a week and connect.
You’re deciding, together, what’s happening. What needs to be adjusted. What your week looks like.
It’s also the time to plan for date nights, fun, family time, and whatever keeps your relationship feeling intentional—not chaotic.

One More Suggestion: Weekly Date Night

I recommend one date night a week—but here’s the twist:
You each take turns planning it. One week it’s your turn, the next week it’s theirs.

This doesn’t mean you need to go out or spend money.
This means you do something that says “I thought about us.”
Read together. Sit on the porch with a glass of wine. Go for a walk. Look at old pictures. Laugh. Talk. Be outside.
Not just “watch a movie and sit on your ass” kind of time.

Park the Phones

Agree to park the phones at a certain time. This works.

It’s called drawing boundaries with the world—and sticking to them.

Set a time. Stick to it. No phones after that time.
It’s that simple. And when you have kids? Even more important.

Kids watch and learn. If they see you put the phones away and stay engaged, they learn that relationships come first. That connection is chosen, not accidental. That boundaries are real—and healthy.

Make it part of your home culture. Phones go away. That’s that. Period.

If You Have Kids…

Plan one-on-one time with your child at least twice a month.

Call it what you want— “Daddy Date,” “Mommy Date,” “Just Us Time.”
It can be ice cream, a walk around the block, breakfast before school, or even just playing cards together in their room.

The goal? Be intentional.
It’s about presence, not perfection.

Your child remembers how it felt to have you all to themselves. That builds confidence, safety, and connection that will stay with them for life.

Wellness & Working Out

Whether it’s going to the gym alone or planning workouts together—put it on the calendar during your weekly meeting.

If you don’t schedule it, you probably won’t do it.
Be realistic. Be supportive of each other’s goals.
Walk together. Lift weights. Do yoga. Go for a hike.

Women—join a yoga or barre class.
Men—join a gym, get into golf, do something that gets you off the couch or off your phone.

It’s not just about fitness—it’s about building energy, confidence, and routine that fuels the rest of your life.
Your emotional health and relationship will thank you for it.

This may sound too simple to matter—but trust me, it works.
It builds connection, reduces stress, and brings your relationship back into focus.
Kids benefit too—they learn consistency and structure when they see it modeled.

Start small. Be consistent. It doesn’t have to be perfect—just on purpose.

You can download the following to begin:

• Unpacking the Impact of Parenting Styles on Our Relationships
• Self-Accountability for Couples

And for a deeper dive:

• Couples Therapy Packet