As we continue our theme this month focusing on the needs of a woman in the relationship, I’d like to offer over twenty statements that I have found to be extremely beneficial for women to hear. In my previous article “What Women Want“, I mention that although women can be incredibly different, there is one common denominator we share when it comes to what we desire from a partner…A sense of connection.
In my practice and experience, women in my office describe emotional intimacy as one of the most important aspects of connection, which involves a deep, meaningful, and often vulnerable connection with their partner. It includes sharing thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities, as well as feeling heard, understood, and valued. Spending “quality time together” commonly means talking.
Here are over twenty statements that women desperately need to hear from their partners:
- “I will always be in your corner”
Even if you have a healthy dose of self-confidence, it’s nice to know someone supports you. Whether you’re in line for a promotion or perhaps a new career opportunity or maybe there’s a situation with a close friend. It’s helpful to know there’s someone behind you to boost that confidence when you might have a moment of uncertainty.
- “I’m rooting for you” “You can do this” “I believe in you”
People need cheerleaders. We all want someone who believes in us. This proves to be true with our partners. People tend to overthink their situations and life. When alone, this escalates. Having someone we love believe in us will eventually teach us to believe in ourselves.
- “I trust you”
There is no judgment or fear of consequences when each person has the deepest level of trust in the other person. Human beings open their hearts and souls to someone whom they truly trust. Trust means many different things on a variety of levels. Emotional trust refers to the belief or confidence that one person has in another person’s ability to be emotionally reliable, supportive, and sensitive to their feelings and needs. It is a fundamental component of healthy relationships, especially in romantic partnerships, friendships, and close family relationships.
- “There is so much to love about you”
When you expressly tell someone the reasons for loving them, it brings a whole new meaning to the phrase. Feeling that admiration and understanding where it comes from expresses how much worth we put into the other person.
The fact that we pay so much attention to the little things enough to recognize their value is powerful. That adds to compliments that will melt her heart. Noticing how well she takes care of the family, takes time for you, helps a neighbor, or anything she does that tends to be unnoticeable flips the “Oh wow!” trigger in a woman.
- “Thank you”
After putting on airs for the start of the relationship, familiarity and comfortability set in, and mates finally start to be their authentic selves. That could mean there are some moments where courtesy and kindness vanishes.
There should always be some semblance of courtesy as long as there is gratitude for what you do. It allows for mutual respect and no one feels taken for granted. Those are things women like to hear.
- “You are appreciated”
Knowing that someone, especially a partner, appreciates you from their heart feels good. It makes you begin to notice the efforts they make and start showing appreciation for them. This brings a couple closer and instigates a stronger sense of happiness. Appreciation is contagious.
- “Everything will be alright”
Challenges and stress come to everyone at one point or another with some manner of difficulty facing these alone. It can be a sudden loss or a specific hardship. Challenges are inevitable. Reassurance from someone you love that time will help with the feelings, and until then, they’re there to help you through and help you better manage the situation. What do women like to hear – empathy and support.
- “I wish you were here” “I miss you right now”
Sometimes you can’t be together for one reason or another. Maybe someone needs to travel for work, or one of you has to work late for a deadline on a big project for several weeks. The moments you’re away from each other can be good for a partnership, helping you focus on other relationships, look at different goals, and merely take the opportunity to readjust. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel fantastic when you know they miss you and wish you were with them; definitely things a woman wants to hear from her man.
Pay attention to adorable, quirky, funny, intriguing behaviors you used to think was cute and appealing, and then mention it. When couples grow together, they appreciate the other’s predictable yet adorable expressions or ways of doing things. It’s worth letting them know that you find these behaviors “cute,” which will bring a bashful smile albeit repeat behavior because they realize you enjoy it. What do women like to hear – that their mate finds them appealing even after becoming comfortable.
- “I’m glad I’m with you”
What does a woman want to hear? She wants to hear her mate admit that it’s a beautiful feeling knowing they’re partners. You can counter that by expressing the happiness, it brings to you that you were lucky enough to find such a partner. Let her know you feel fortunate or blessed to have her in your life.
- “You don’t have to do it alone”
Many times, women will face life head on. Like a well-tuned machine, they get stuff done without asking for help. Offer to assist your partner. Step in and help with chores or things you know need to be done. This only benefits you as well as the family and relationship. Your partner is less tired, cranky, resentful, and may want to actually go to bed early with you.
- “I was wrong”
When a partner owns their crap and admit they were wrong, it demonstrates love, admiration, and connection to a woman. Own it and move forward. Don’t expect a counter admittance.
- “This is not too big for us to handle”
Shit happens. Life throws us curve balls. It is not what happens to us but how we handle the ball that just slammed us in the face.
Women need to feel safe and secure. Women must feel you have their back no matter what happens. Women tend to be stronger than you think. In adversity they will handle a challenge head on especially when you are by their side. Reassurance goes a long way here. Most women look towards their partner to determine how to react in a critical situation. When you are strong, calm, and secure, they will generally follow suit.
- “I agree to disagree”
If you don’t have disagreements, your relationship is not healthy. Individuals will not always agree on every subject, and that’s okay, and healthy. Differing opinions on specific issues are going to arise. While vital issues are relatively comparable, decisions can sometimes differ, and many times an agreement to disagree needs to happen.
- “I feel safe with you” “I want you to feel safe with me”
We’re born with a longing to feel secure and safe. When we feel fear, we run to a safe place as a child. Many adults remain to run away from uncomfortable situations. Most women have the “not good enough” seed planted somewhere in their soul. Some allow it to show and others have buried it deeply but it is there, trust me. Many people will avoid circumstances that may trigger a “here we go again”, leading to more distance and dysfunction. The desire to get away or run from an argument, discussion, or uncomfortable situation is innate. Running does not work! Avoiding only makes the elephant in the room grow exponentially. A genuine hug or “It is okay, I am right here” can reduce the fear of rejection, abandonment, or feelings of not being good enough in a woman. Letting a partner know that they bring that sense of safety to you or that you offer safety to them only encourages them and gives them confidence and strength.
- “I apologize and ask that you forgive me”
Saying “I am sorry” can be overrated when said too often. Saying “I’m sorry” with true intention can deescalate negativity and turmoil. An inevitable downhill land slide can be immobilized by a genuine apology. When a partner asks for forgiveness, it represents you have realized your behavior and you view it as inappropriate and hurtful. Taking the first step in making things right represents strong character. Owning your crap can completely adjust the mood of the moment. Holding on to animosity or resentment is deadly in a relationship.
- “I drew you a bath” “I poured you a glass of wine”
For many women, acts of service can serve as incredible foreplay in a relationship. This takes intention as well as mindfulness. It takes effort to do the small things you know your partner would appreciate. Women who tend to put pressure on themselves and overdo during the day find themselves exhausted, cranky, and resentful in the evenings. After a long day, a hot bath, glass of wine or hot tea, massage, or a light snack will be greatly appreciated. It is your pre-meditated thoughtful gesture that earns you many brownie points.
- “I can see my future with you”
When a relationship progresses into exclusivity, and a partner expresses the notion that they see a future between the two of you, those are words women love to hear. Often, questions linger regarding life plans, but when men open their hearts and admit their intentions, it’s refreshing for the partner in their life. A commitment for the future is the answer to your question, “what do women like to hear?”
- “I am glad we talked” “I want to discuss this. Can we please talk tomorrow morning before work when we are both rested?”
Okay, I realize this one is harder on some than others. I realize many men roll their eyes and feel soccer punched when their partner “wants to talk about something”. As the honeymoon phase ends and comfortability sets in, some partners become irritated, intimidated, or exhausted by the fact that conversations take a turn and become more in-depth, meaningful, and intimate. These conversations need to be limited indeed with boundaries and structure. At the end of the day while in bed, is not the time to begin a in-depth conversation. Setting up a time to talk the next day and following through with the agreement should satisfy her urgency to talk.
- “You impress me” “I am so proud of you”
Expressing an appreciation for the talent someone has, whether it be for a hobby or a specific interest, can really boost your partners confidence. Confidence feeds your relationship.
- “Always remain true to who you are, I like who you are”
Nobody wants to be another person’s everything…at least for long! Individuals come together as a couple and many times tend to lose who they are as individuals. They lose sight of their own thoughts, interests, ideals, goals, morals, and values in order to adapt to their partner. This breeds contempt and codependency.
Offer to support a woman in her interests. Make it easier for her to go work out, volunteer, further her education, take a class, or satisfy what she needs to be healthy. Offer to keep the children, prepare your own meal, or remove her excuses to why she can’t do what she wants and needs to do. Time apart is healthy. Time spent apart by bettering oneself. This of course, needs to be balanced with couples and family time.
- “I want to hear what happened today”
Some partners don’t actively listen when their partners speak, especially when talking about the day’s activities. Life tends to become mundane and many times individuals forget to genuinely ask about their partners day. If your partner was meeting with her boss that day ask her how the meeting went. Ask specific questions. Not mearly, “How was your day”.
We all want to know our significant other is interested and wants to hear what we have to say.
- “I missed you all day”
When you’re away from each other during the day, it can make you feel connected when a partner greets you with an “I missed you all day.” A soothing hug at the end of the day creates connection.
- “You are my person”
Women like to hear that they’re enough. They need to hear you are in love with them and share a tightly woven bond. They need to have reassurance, especially as time passes and self-doubt or insecurities crop up.
- “I love you”
No one can get enough of these words. Just because years pass and you believe someone already knows, a woman and a man need to hear those words from the person they love.
- “You are beautiful” “You look so hot”
Do not wait until a woman asks you if you like her outfit to compliment her. Be intentional. Actually, take a look at her. Notice her. Take note. Find something you like. A new outfit? Her hair? Make-up? Notice and comment. Women tend to go to the “You don’t find me attractive anymore” or “You never tell me I look hot like you used to” in an instant. This can slowly tear down your relationship when you stop noticing her.
Affectionate gestures, such as hugs, kisses, and expressions of love and appreciation, are important aspects of intimacy. Women may describe feeling closer to their partner when they experience romantic gestures and expressions of affection.
Dealing with a relationships can be difficult and overwhelming but you are not alone! If you are struggling right now, let’s talk. You can book an in-person or virtual visit.
Email or call anytime to schedule an in-person or virtual session. (817) 701-5438 | email@example.com