What is “Love” Anyway?
In my previous article, we ask if love is enough and discuss the many factors involved in the success of a relationship. But, what is “love” anyway?
Love is a deep and complex emotional and psychological connection characterized by affection, care, compassion, intimacy, and a strong attachment to another person. It involves feelings of warmth, admiration, and a desire for the well-being and happiness of the beloved, often leading to acts of selflessness, sacrifice, and support.
DAMN! Don’t we all desire this? Wouldn’t it be a blissful harmonious life we would lead?
Not that simple.
People describe love in various ways, as it is a complicated and multifaceted emotion. It is experienced in many different ways with many different individuals. Here are some common ways people describe love:
Deep Affection: Love is often described as a profound and deep affection towards another person. It involves caring deeply about someone’s well-being, happiness, and fulfillment. This is heartfelt and many individuals can’t describe it. It is the warm feeling you truly have in your heart and soul for your partner.
Describe if and how important affection is in your relationships? Describe the type of affection you may or may not need from your partner. What are the ways you offer affection to your partner?
Connection: Love is often associated with a strong emotional connection or bond between two people. It involves feeling deeply connected on an emotional, spiritual, and a physical level. Physical connection is vital to a successful relationship. When this is absent, the relationship many times feels empty or lacking.
Describe when you have you felt the most connected to your partner? Do you feel you and your partner are connected presently? List the ways you do or do not feel emotionally, spiritually, and physically connected to your partner. What do you feel is missing?
Commitment: Love often involves a commitment to another person, whether it’s through marriage, partnership, or a long-term relationship. It entails being dedicated to the well-being and happiness of the other person and working together to build a shared future.
What does commitment mean to you in a relationship? Do you feel you are or are not committed to your partner? Describe the ways.
Intimacy: Love is often linked with emotional and physical intimacy. It involves sharing your deepest thoughts, feelings, and desires with another person and feeling emotionally and physically connected to them. When the physical component comes in to play, it is extremely difficult to distinguish love, hormones, endorphins, sensuality and sensitivity, euphoria and bliss, and flat-out goodness.
Describe what you see as intimacy. Do you feel your relationship is lacking intimacy? If so how or how not?
Acceptance: Love is often described as accepting someone for who they are, including their strengths, weaknesses, flaws, and imperfections. It involves embracing the other person unconditionally and supporting them through both their triumphs and challenges. Unconditional love is extremely difficult at the moment of disappointment, betrayal, broken trust, and deceitfulness. Describe how you accept your partner. List the things you may not like, agree with, or gets on your last nerve but you accept anyway.
Describe the ways you accept your partner. What have you shared with your partner for them, and not for yourself? What are the imperfections you have learned to accept? Where can you improve on this?
Empathy: Love involves empathy and understanding towards the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It entails being able to see things from their perspective and being there to support and comfort them in times of need. Empathy means not giving advice, telling your own story, teaching, preaching, or discounting. It is meeting someone just where they are emotionally and allowing them to feel.
When have you not exhibited empathy towards your partner due to your own selfishness or disregard for their feelings?
Sacrifice: Love often involves making sacrifices for the well-being and happiness of the other person. It entails putting their needs and desires ahead of your own and being willing to make compromises for the sake of the relationship. It is not all about you all of the time. Allowing your partner to “win”, have a say so, make a decision, completing a task for your partner, participating in an activity you may not truly enjoy, or have their desires met is sacrifice.
Where and in what ways do you feel you have sacrificed for your partner? What are the ways you have or are hindering resentment or regret and how does this play out in the relations hip?
Joy and Happiness: Love is often associated with feelings of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. It involves experiencing moments of bliss, contentment, and gratitude in the presence of the person you love. Allowing yourself to stop and smell the roses is ideal here. Appreciate what you do have. Your blessings. Your accomplishments as a couple. Practice gratitude.
What are the ways you are mindful in exhibiting joy and happiness? How can you be more mindful in showing, expressing, or sharing joy and happiness with your partner?
Security and Safety: Love often provides a sense of security and safety in the relationship. It involves feeling emotionally and physically safe with the other person and knowing that you can rely on them for support and comfort. Having a “safe place to fall” at the end of the day goes a long way. Feeling someone is on your team encourages self-confidence that only bleeds out into the family and relationship.
When and with who have you experienced “a safe place to fall at the end of the day”? How does this filter into the relationship? Have and do you offer “a safe place to fall at the end of the day” to your partner and in what ways?
Unconditional: Love is often described as unconditional, meaning that it is not contingent upon certain conditions or expectations. It involves loving someone wholeheartedly and without reservation, regardless of any shortcomings or mistakes. Try reeling yourself back in when you are irritated, angry, judgmental, discounting, hateful, or want to get the last word in. Unconditional means to stop feeling you are better, have better advice, do things better, or just flat right all of the time.
When and with whom have you truly unconditionally loved someone? How was this exhibited and how does it play out in your life?
Overall, love is a deeply personal and subjective experience, and people may describe it in various ways based on their own unique perspectives, experiences, and cultural influence. Some love tends to come and go. It can be a roller-coaster ride, A series of disappointments, regrets, and doubts when the other factors that serve as a foundation are not present or even worse…have never existed.
The terms “being in love” and “love” are often used interchangeably, but many times the feelings or the terms can refer to different stages or aspects of a romantic relationship. Here’s a breakdown of the differences between the two:
Being In Love:
Being “in love” typically refers to the initial stage of a romantic relationship characterized by intense feelings of passion, infatuation, and excitement. It is often described as a state of euphoria or being “head over heels” for someone.
When you are “in love,” you may experience heightened emotions, butterflies in the stomach, and a strong desire to be with the person constantly. You may idealize your partner and overlook their flaws or imperfections.
Being “in love” is often associated with physical attraction, sexual chemistry, and a strong emotional connection. It is marked by a sense of longing and yearning to be close to the person you love.
This stage of being “in love” can be exhilarating and exhilarating but may also be characterized by uncertainty, insecurity, and vulnerability as you navigate the early stages of the relationship.
Dealing with relationships can be difficult and overwhelming but you are not alone! If you are struggling right now, let’s talk. You can book an in-person or virtual visit.
Email or call anytime to schedule an in-person or virtual session. (817) 701-5438 | beckylennox2018@gmail.com
Speaking Truth,
